FEATURE: Pretty Bad, But Mildly Fun Games # 4 - Super 3D Noah's Ark (SNES)

The unlicensed gaming scene is very strange to begin with, but it's rare a game this bizarre comes along.

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Developer: Wisdom Tree

Publisher: Wisdom Tree

Genre: First-Person Shooter

Release: 1994

Console: SNES/DOS

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First, a little background on Wisdom Tree - during the early to mid 90's, they decided that more video-games should be made focusing on religious ideologies, specifically under Christian faith, so what did they do? Release a bunch of unlicensed games. As you do. FEATURE1

One of those games was Super 3D Noah's Ark - one of the most infamous games as its practically a copy of ID's Wolfenstein 3D, with different sprites, graphical changes and music replacements to suit the Christian audience, which meant no Nazi's or Hitler in a robot suit - instead we have Ernie the Elephant and Carl the Camel.

As you enter the first stage, there's this prelude explaining the story of Noah and his ark, but with a twist - all of the animals are out of control and it's up to you the player to put them in their place.

Instead of collecting treasures and jewellery, Noah collects fruit and instead of killing enemies..I mean friendly animals, he simply puts them "to sleep" with his pet feed, as opposed to bullets.

See it to believe it, those goats aren't dead, they're just sleeping.

But honestly, the gameplay itself isn't bad at all - but that's due to the fact Wisdom Tree essentially stole the code from Wolfenstein 3D, so credit is due to...ID software for this game's core gameplay. This is getting weird.

All of the animals you expect to make an appearance do, including Goats (so many goats), Sheep, Camels, and so forth - with a total of 30 levels, this game has its fair share of fun to be had, exploring each level seeking out hidden passages, just like I did in Wolfen...nevermind.

In terms of graphics, it looks just like the Super Nintendo version of Doom, making for awkward and difficult gameplay when it comes to actually seeing what's in the distance. With that said, the animals have to come close to you in order to deduct any health, so keeping your distance and shooting your pet feed is probably the best way to go.

The animals....what did you do Noah!?

At the end of the game, you'll come across the "final boss", a notion that usually indicates an intimidating opponent that will require all of your skills used in the game so far - nope, not in this game, instead we get hold of a Watermelon throwing device in order to defeat Burt the Bear....

Burt the Bear, the final boss - with a huge watermelon coming his way.

There's no sugar coating it, this game is a clone of Wolfenstein 3D, just with a little Christian added. Saying that, the game isn't bad at all - I have been playing the SNES version so awkward controls were a given considering FPS games on consoles back then weren't too great to handle, however the DOS release is probably much easier to play.

The game is generally rare to find these days, more the SNES version than DOS - expect to see it on ebay for up to £100 or more, and that's just for the cartridge. Wisdom Tree still has a website up and running, which looks like its straight from 1998, either way check it out, maybe you'll find your next favourite game.

FEATURE: The Games I'm Currently Playing - Volume 2!

Definitely a varied selection of games this time around, including the classic Wolfenstein 3D and more.

Hexen: Beyond Heretic

System: PC

I have fond memories of this game when I played it on my uncle's PlayStation back in the 90's but never actually played the original PC version so I thought I'd give it a shot since I loved the PlayStation port back in the day

Straight away, I knew this version would be better (in most cases, original games are usually better than the ports, although many people argue PlayStation DOOM is the best but that's another discussion all together).

I am currently only at the start of the second "hub" (or episode) and I have to say, this game is incredibly fun and also very addictive, it's nice to have some puzzle elements thrown into the first-person shooter mechanic. However, from what I've played so far, this is not as good as it's predecessor; Heretic. 

Wolfenstein 3-D

System: PSN (Originally on DOS/PC)

Fun Fact: Wolfenstein 3-D was made by ID, the guys
 responsible for cult classic DOOM

Now, this won't be the best version of Wolfenstein 3-D but for now I've had to settle for the PlayStation Network port, which to be fair isn't all that bad. The controls can be a bit awkward but I adjusted to them pretty easy within the second level or so, at the moment I'm almost at the end of episode 2 and whilst this is no DOOM, you have to give credit to the guys at ID back in the day for this game, for the time this would have been absolutely amazing - the graphics, the sense of '3D', and so on. Really fantastic game so far!

Joe Danger

System: PSN

With only a couple more stages left, I can safely say I have had a lot of fun playing. Joe Danger is one of those games that got under-looked - it's nothing special but at the core it's incredibly fun and it often reminds me of Excitebike on the Nintendo Entertainment System which is always a good thing, right?

I'm having a really hard time getting some the coin stars though....Still, very enjoyable game.

Bayonetta

System: PS3

Fun Fact: Bayonetta 2 will be released exclusively
 on the Nintendo Wii-U

This game has been on my shelf since last December so I just thought 'I should really finish that game sometime' and I'm definitely glad I picked it up - currently on chapter 6 out of 15.

I find myself wanting more and more due to the insanely fun gameplay, parts of me feel like this is just a Devil May Cry clone but other parts of me think that a lot of Bayonetta is completely original, the story for one is very unique in the sense I've never seen a story like it before.

Over the top fighting and a lot of cheesy one-liners - yup, this game is awesome. Feature1